Tuesday, July 18, 2006

The Dark Side Beckons Again

I'm been having internal conflict these few weeks... It's been really crazy... Been reflecting on what I have done and my emotions are off the charts... I just despise my emotions... I thought I had learnt from the past... I was totally wrong... I wish I could just throw it down the drain or bury it 6 feet under... But I can't can I? It's too complicated... I wished I kept it to myself & didn't say anything... WHY?? How could I have been soooo stupid, so dumb... Why am I not wise enough to see? Why was I not sensitive, not observant?

Dark times have indeed arrived... I can't believe it... 2 F words in 3 days... Bloody hell I'm really joining the dark side... I think I'm changing for the worse... Last time I could control myself but it seems my self restraint has suffered a mortal blow... Anyway I guessed I asked for it... It's my fault and I think it's my responsiblity to find a way to rectify this problem... I hope I don't unleash my power on anyone by accident... I need to get a grip... I need to find myself again... Pick up the pieces...

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